Suppression
by Furofushi
Summary: Orochimaru is having a bit of a problem involving Jiraiya and suppressing his emotions. OroJira or JiraOro. Depends on how you look at it. Yaoi. Shonen-ai. One-shot.


**Authors notes****:**I was having a bad day and felt like writing something kind of angsty. Oh well. This actually came out pretty good. I'm rather happy with it. :) I hope you guys like it. Also I might want to add that they are about somewhere in their twenties in this so Orochimaru is still in Konaha.

**Warnings/Story info****:**Yaoi. Shonen-ai. Pairing of OroJira/JiraOro depends how you look at it. Nothing heavy just a kiss.

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Walking down the street in the heavy rain, water falling from the sky much like the tears of someone crying over a lost lover. It seemed almost symbolic at this point. The umbrella in my hand, being held over my head was simply too insignificant to help anything at all. In this kind of downpour not much could protect me from the falling precipitation... or the thoughts that pelted me like bullets striking me deep in the heart and soul.

An overall gloomy feeling had been slowly taking over my entire demeanor for a while now. It had probably started up quite some years ago when I first met _him_, but it had really started to impact me about a week ago. He had gotten back from a mission, just another boring c-rank mission, about a week ago. Since he had returned he had refused to even look in my general direction, actually running out of the room the one time I tried to ask him about it. It is so depressing I'm actually experiencing problems focusing on missions. It's so pathetic. Sarutobi actually told me to take a week off, because I had been so completely and utterly distraught, and he thought I need some time to think.

It's saddening. Maybe Tsunade told him. She's known about my 'little crush' for a while now. The only thing she didn't know is that it wasn't just some childish crush. It was more than that. So much more. At least to me.

I guess I was doomed from the start. It's only logical that something like that could never work out between the two of us. He was so obviously straight, and absolutely uninterested in me it was heart breaking. It _still is_ heart breaking. I shouldn't have let myself get this bad. I should have talked some sense into myself from the start.

I guess I just couldn't help it. No matter how I might try not to be I am still human to some extent. I can't help but feel attracted to him. Not just his appearance, but his entire personality as well. Every aspect of him is just so enticing. So easy to fall in love with... Everything from his messy white hair to the silly smile he always has spread across his face, and his beautiful laugh...

I sound so absolutely pathetically hopeless...

I can hear a rumble of thunder, and I almost wanted to just drop to my knees, screaming to the sky, right then and there. I wanted to just cry for once in my life, to just let my suppressed emotions spill out, and to not care at all who say or what anyone thought. But I didn't. I couldn't. I don't think I could even begin to figure out how. How to just let everything out, how to express anything at all.

I was faintly aware of the sound of someone else turning onto the street I was walking along. It didn't even begin to register, though. I didn't care. It didn't matter. It was probably just some poor pedestrian that had been unlucky enough to get caught in the rain, far away from their home.

I nearly jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned slowly to see an all too familiar face staring down at me. His normally happy face looked sad, almost guilty. Miserable agony and pain. We simply stared at each other for the longest time. Seconds melted into minutes, rain pouring down in a steady, time blurring rhythm. The rain blurred everything, melting time, and thought. Even walls that had been there for years...

I hadn't even realized I had started to cry until he reached up a hand, and ran a thumb over my cheek, just under my eye, asking softly,"Why are you crying?" I couldn't answer. I didn't have to.

I was shocked to say the least when I felt him pull me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my back. I dropped the useless umbrella, and just wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face into the crook of his neck. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I cried, letting the salty waters flow free, running down my face and mixing with the rain. Only faintly aware of the heavy precipitation showering over the both of us, and the gentle hand rubbing my back in an almost affectionate manner.

I don't know how long it is exactly that we just stood there like that. Embracing each other in the harsh downpour. Letting unspoken words speak for themselves. I eventually started to calm myself down enough to stop the tears from flowing down my face in rivers, only a few more slipping out.

I could hear him say a faint,"I'm sorry..." It was so quiet that I almost didn't hear him at all. His voice was so full of guilt I thought he might just start to cry right there. Why would he feel guilty? Why would he care at all? Why was he here? Why...?

I felt him grip my chin in the hand that had been patting my back only a moment ago, and he lifted my face to his. His oddly bright, deep black eyes seemed to be filled with some emotion I had never before seen, and he had a smile so faint it almost wasn't there. His grip on my waist tightened slightly as he pulled my face forward, closing the already small distance between us.

My eyes widened slightly in shock, but soon fluttered closed as I felt myself melt into the kiss. Feelings that had been suppressed for years were poured out, and released into the passionate kiss as we each latched onto the other, as though if we were to let go one of us might disappear, all of this just a dream, a blissful illusion.

When we finally pulled away I could still feel the warmth of his lips against my own, a light tingling sensation remaining. I felt light headed as thoughts ran through my mind too fast to comprehend, and I finally asked in a whisper,"Why?"

He just smiled down at me, his entire face lighting up in an angelic way as he said gently and truthfully,"I love you, Orochimaru..." And with that he leaned down again, brushing his lips against mine in a kiss that would, hopefully, be only one of many to come in the future.


End file.
